Gone But Not Forgotten
by IantosStopwatch
Summary: Stupid title...anyway. It's the Ninth Doctor's thoughts after he regenerates, while he's stuck inside his own head. He thinks about Rose and Ten and he might stray to think about Jack but never on purpose. He's a bit too guilty to want to think about that It's been a while but I have started a second chapter and I won't abandon this story.


_**AN:**_ I haven't written any fanfics in so long that I almost don't care if this is good or not. It's up so review and I'll love you forever. Might be the start of my first multi-chapter fic but I'm not sure.

_Rose... before I go, I just want to tell you: you were fantastic, absolutely fantastic. And do you know what? __…__So was I!_

"Hello! Okay_…_ New teeth. That's weird. So where was I? Oh, that's right. Barcelona!"

The Daleks. They take everything from him. Even after the war ends he still has to fight. And now they've taken her. Well really she's standing right there, perfectly fine. He made sure of that. _It's killing me. I think you need a doctor._ But it's not him she's standing in front of. Not really. His tenth incarnation is so skinny he looks like a stick. And why can't the stupid man stop playing with his own hair? And now he's hopping around instead of trying to comfort Rose. At least, he'd hope she'd need comforting. As she put it, he did just "explode" in front of her. And now Rose, his Rose. Is left with this idiot who just gave up trying to properly explain the situation and instead decided that hopping would solve the problem. Maybe he shouldn't have left Jac- no. It doesn't matter. It's probably just post-regeneration adrenaline. Ten will have to calm down eventually. Then they will get along just fine.

"Can you change back?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yeah."

Is that what he wants? For them to get along? It's him; it's the Doctor that she's talking to. All his memories, his pain and his joy. And a Doctor should always have his Rose. But it's also not him. The mannerisms, the way he says his words, and the words he chooses. Did he just twirl? What if she prefers this Doctor? Can he take it, trapped in here while they bond? Maybe their bond will be stronger than the one he and Rose shared. Either way he'll be stuck inside his own head while Ten takes her around the universe. He will see the way her eyes will light up, the joy and awe written across her face like it may never leave, but he won't be able to enjoy it. She will put her hand in the Doctor's but he won't feel it. It's not his hand anymore. If only he could change back. He could shunt Ten off to the side and be the Doctor again. He wouldn't if he could. Every man deserves a chance at life and Ten isn't the one who stole his. He gave up his life. For her. Maybe Ten will be more open. Maybe Ten can say… but that's not the point. The point is that she's alive and the Doctor is with her.

"Merry Christmas!"

_Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas! Who says I'm not? Red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve! _It just went black. Well at least that means he won't have to listen to anything Jackie says. If he could he'd pass out every time he saw her just to avoid the ordeal. Nine hundred years of time and space and that's the one thing he'd hope never to encounter in a dark alley, or any alley really. She could probably send a Cyberman up to his room without any dinner. It was just a quick flash of her and Rickey then it all went away. Well this could be problematic. Rose isn't even sure it's really him, well really the Doctor because it's not _him_. Then there he went collapsing on the ground. Who knew how long he'd be out for? Of course this regeneration had to be a tricky one. All that was left to do was hope that the stupid apes were having a quiet day and could look after themselves for once.

"All those planets, creatures and horizons—I haven't seen them yet. Not with these eyes. And it is gonna be... fantastic."

Which of course they couldn't. Still, a bit of stalling from Rose and a cup of tea was all the Doctor needed to save the day. Maybe they weren't so different after all. Rose deserved more adventures and Ten was there to give them to her. He just hoped that he wouldn't be forgotten. That Nine could be just as important as Ten will grow to be._ I wouldn't have missed it for the world._

**TBC** maybe… I'm not entirely sure if I like this or it's just crap but I'm so glad I don't have any severe writer's block anymore. If I did I would probably take the story through most of season 2 but I'm not sure if I'd go all the way to Doomsday or end sooner. I do have something of an ending in mind, but first Nine is going to do some Ten hating.


End file.
